David Sudgen, Jokes, a Game, more jokes
Before we begin this week's column it is my sad task
to report David Sugden passed away on 16 September 2005.
David had been in hospital since mid-June having suffered a
serious stroke from which he did not recover.
Dave was the inspiration of the 'Thompson Stories.'
A site which I often visited to get amused and sometimes
nick an idea from. A sad loss.
The perfume world have started playing the Scandinavian.
Taking part in this weeks joke telling session are;
Me, Keith Ruxton, Eddie Perry, Gerrard Oswald and Mike Wallace.
Keith: "Me and the wife had an awful row last weekend.
I wanted to play Chess, but she wanted me to visit her mother."
Eddie: "And how is her mother?"
Gerrard was boring us all with his story of how be beat a 2000 player.
Gerard: "Well he struggled on and on setting me trap after trap...."
Geoff: "Did I ever tell you about the time I sacced that many
pieces I mated my opponent when all I had left was a lone pawn."
Gerrard: "That's ridiculous, How do you expect us to believe that?"
Geoff: "OK you knock 400 points off your opponent and I'll put
more pieces on the board."
Mike Wallace played in the Eastbourne Open and scored 1 out 5.
He was phoning home...
Mike: "What with all the traveling and the hotel expenses
that one win probably cost me 200 quid."
Mrs Wallace: "Ohh, just as well you did not win 2 games..."
Eddie: "Why do you bring your wife with you when you play Chess?"
Geoff: "It's better than kissing her goodbye."
Gerrard: "How do get your grade higher?"
Geoff: "Get beat by Eddie Perry. Every time he shows the
game he put his opponents up by 50 points."
Keith: "Hi Mike, how are you getting on?"
Mike: "Well if I win my next game and then the following two
I'll have three points."
Gerrard: "I love Chess. The intellectual challenge, the fascinating
characters, the after game post mortem, the comradeship,
the thrill of setting a deep trap, the beauty of an unseen combination.
Tell me, why do play Chess?"
Geoff: "My son is learning to play the saxophone."
(Enough of these bar room jokes...Ed)
Lloyd Hughes v Jonathan McLatchie.
Note the Scandinavian Opening at the beginning of this piece.
I was sent a Scandinavian by Lloyd Hughes from his game v Jonathan McLetchie.
It was from the recent Edinburgh Allegro, In this position...
....with White to play, they agreed a draw!
"What's happening?" Ask's Lloyd.
Well first of all, shame on both players for not playing on.
Fancy leaving a game in this position with all this excitement
still on the board.
I looked at it for a while tossing pieces about all over the
place finding White wins, Black wins and odd endings that
are hard to evaluate.
I don't want to give reams of analysis that will only be
look at by me and perhaps Hughes & Mclatchie.
I come to the following positions using logical moves.
15.Nxh8 Rd8 16.0-0 Rxd2 17.Qxe4 Bxd1 18.Qxe6+ Kd8 19.Nf7+ Kc7.
With a position just as unclear as the original position!
or again from the original position.
15.Nxh8 Rd8 16. Bxe6 Rxd2 17. Rxd2 Qb1+ 18.Rd1 Bb4+
19 Kf1 Bxd1 20.Kg2 Bxe2 21.Rb1 Bf3+ 22.Kg1 c5
White is ahead a pawn for the exchange but there is
still a lot of work to do.
There are loads of wee sub variations taking the game
along all kinds of paths. Here is the full game.
White starts the fun with the gutsy 11.g4.
What a pity he let the complications get him down.
There are also many interesting lines if White
castles on move 13 instead of 13.Rd1.
One feels as if someone has just turned off the
telly just as the programme was getting interesting.
Don't agree draws in Allegro's. They should be illegal.
bare Kings are a draw, everything else must play on.
[Click here to replay the game]
L. Hughes v J. McLatchie
1.e4 d5 2.exd5 Qxd5 3.Nc3 Qa5 4.d4 Nf6 5.Bd2 c6 6.Nf3 Bf5 7.Bc4 e6 8.Ne5 Nbd7 9.Ne4 Qd8 10.Nxf6+ Nxf6 11.g4 Qxd4 12.Qe2 Qxb2 13.Rd1 Bxc2 14.Nxf7 Ne4 15.Nxh8 Bxd1 16.Qxe4 Bxg4
A last joke...
I was sitting in Sandy Bells with a Chess position in front
of me trying to figure out a problem from a newspaper.
I noticed some guy at the bar staring at the position as well.
For three hours I sat there not moving a piece or
pawn trying to find the winning continuation and all
this time the same guy was studying the position.
Eventually I gave up.
"Fancy a game." I asked the stranger.
"Oh I don't play." he replied, "I don't have the patience."
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