Caption Competition No.138
er...think of a caption with a chess theme.
Ever Fallen In Love With Someone You Should Never Have Fallen In Love With?
OK then, try this.
Ever Given A Present To Someone You Should Never Have Given A Present Too?
Well someone has.
"Hi Geoff, I kept this back for you."
said the pretty girl on the Oxfam shop.
All the 2nd hand shops in Edinburgh hold me back chess books
and chess stuff. I get first dibs at all the chess junk.
"It's this." she says proudly...
"Wow!" I said, "Thanks."
Well what could I do? If I had gone into my now famous narrative about
these things not being chess pieces and not coming from the Isle of Lewis.
I may have broken her sweet heart. (and stopped having first dibs on chess junk).
The Lewis Chessmen Hoax
So having parted with 50p I browsed the books.
Arghhhhh! It's a conspiracy.
I've not read this yet but glanced through it. On page 89:
Poirot put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a white bishop.
It was first written in 1927. I wonder if the chess theme was suggested
to Christie by the World Championship Match, Alekhine v Capablanca,
which would have been all over the news at the time.
Back to the chess computer theme that started this piece.
Fed up getting fried by Fritz?
Had enough of Rybka running rings around you?
Then Go here and play the weakest chess program on the planet.
Nice graphics. Terrible God awful program.
[Click here to replay the game]
Chandler - Easychess
1.e4 g6 2.Qf3 d6 3.Bc4 e6 4.Nc3 b6 5.Nd5 exd5 6.Bxd5 c6 7.Qxf7
How Lucky is that?
Found this following game whilst tripping through the games from the
Scottish Lightning (5 minute chess). For reasons best known to the people
who either entered in the data or the organisers, the names are just the initials.
CM v AB, AM v LB, WB v RM that sort of thing. Totally useless.
They never even had the foresight or humour to pair
AM with PM.
or AD with BC
or AC with DC and give me three jokes.
Worked out that White in the following game is Walter Burnett.
No idea who RM is (Robert Montgomery, Reece Milne, Robert Mitchell...?)
And neither will you. So take your pick from all the R.M's
you find in the Scottish Grading list.
(except Roddy McKay Black will NOT be Roddy McKay).
Typical last round nothing to play for opening move 1.h4!
This is bound to gain at least 30 seconds on the clock.
White then invited Black to accept an over-whelming position.
Black accepted the offer and was looking good here.
Black (RM) to play move 23.
23...Nc3+ would have done it - infact anything that busts
the combination starting with 24.Nf6+!! would win.
After 24.Nf6+!! it is actually a forced mate in 5.
Quite brilliant or pure dead jammy. I'll let the reader decide.
[Click here to replay the game]
RM - W.Burnett
1.h4 Nf6 2.Nf3 d6 3.d3 e5 4.Bg5 Be7 5.Nc3 h6 6.Bxf6 Bxf6 7.Qd2 Be6 8.Ne4 Be7 9.Qb4 Qc8 10.Qd2 Nc6 11.c3 d5 12.Ng3 0-0 13.0-0-0 Rd8 14.e4 dxe4 15.Nxe4 Bxa2 16.b4 Bb3 17.Re1 a5 18.b5 Nb4 19.Nfg5 Na2+ 20.Kb1 a4 21.Qe3 Qd7 22.c4 Bb4 23.Qg3 Qd4 24.Nf6+ Kf8 25.Ngh7+ Ke7 26.Rxe5+ Kd6 27.Re4+ Kc5 28.Qxc7# 1-0
So it's lucky nobody except Walter Burnett knows who RM is.
Anybody prepared to hazard a guess?
What else has happened in the past few weeks chess wise?
Oh yeah. I was on a chess forum and somebody was suggesting names
of Westerns with a chess theme - Fistful of Gambits etc etc,
(obviously some people have a lot of time on their hands).
In a rare moment of genius my imagination I came up with a brilliant film.
Pat Gambit and Billy the K.I.D.
How clever is that. You know sometimes I even scare myself.
The ongoing serial set around the life and times of one Clifford Sniggs,
the secretary, treasurer and club captain of the West Putney Chess Club.
Last week we left Clifford looking for the telephone number of his board 5.
"Isobel, have you seen a piece of paper with a telephone number on it?"
"Why yes Dear, here it is."
So Clifford has found the telephone number. Next week: THE CALL.
The Chess Club serial is not sponsored by Blackhorse Beer.