Chess Edinburgh lewischessmen2-75h 

Chandler Cornered

Chandler and the Chess Set + Mission Improbable

This week's guest artist is Mary from Sunderland.
Fantastic artwork. Mary promises to do something with a
chess theme in the future. You will see it here first.

And this is a stamp specially struck by
Iceland for the Fischer - Spassky match.

Chandler and the 2nd Hand Chess Set

This is a true story. It happened on Friday the 4th January 2008.

On The Bus
So I'm on a No.33 bus crawling along a blocked Gorgie Road heading for work.

In front of me sits some gimp frying his brain with a loud ipod.
It sounds like sausages getting burnt. sssss chicky tee chicky tee sssss.

Behind me is a woman coughing up her last piece of lung.
When she get's off the bus she will put a fag in her gob.
I get off at the same stop as her. She put her foot
on the pavement and lites up all in one movement.

I'm sharing my upstairs seat with a fat girl who is chattering
and yacking into her mobile. She is talking loud to drown out the
gimp and the coughing queen.

I toy with the idea of killing all of three of them.
I could take off my laces and strangle the unsuspecting gimp.
The bus would cheer.

I could then take the mobile and shove it down the fat girls throat.
The bus would applaud my actions and the driver would
perhaps offer to let me drive the bus.

And then I could drag the coughing queen off the bus and burn her.
My fellow passengers would carry me shoulder high through...

...I look out of the window and see a chess set on display in
the Hospice of Hope Charity Shop. (a good shop this - prices very reasonable).

At Work (morning)
I have a friend who does the breakfast run to GREGGS every
morning for sausage rolls, yim yams and chocolate doughnuts.

So I ask him to look into the charity shop to see how much the set costs.

This he does and actually phones me from the shop on his mobile.
"Geoff it looks quite good." he reports.

My friend is not a chess player, he comes from Fife.

"It costs 10.00. Shall I get it for you?"

"No I'll go and get it later." I reply.

Now regular readers will know I have over 30 chess sets and
I really do not want another. But if it's good and I can pick
it up for 7.00. I'll take it.

Lunch Time.
I walk past the shop. The set it still there.

I now get prepared to pull scam No.117, The Nephew.

I go to the cashline machine at Scotmid and get 10.00.

I need to break the tenner so I go into Scotmid and buy a can of
Coke and a Kit Kat. Healthy food has always been one of my weaknesses.

I put 8.00, one 5.00 note and 3 1.00 coins, in my pocket
and enter the 2nd hand shop.

"Can I see the chess set in the window." I ask.

"My nephew is staying with me because his mother is ill." I lied.
"He said he wanted me to teach him how to play chess."

The girl fetches the set. It is a good set.
Wooden weighted pieces, felted, the correct size, nice box.
Normal retails at around 24.95.

"How much is it?" I ask.
"10.00." came the reply.

I empty my prepared pocket and place the 8.00 on the counter.

"Let me see how much I have. My nephew is going to love this."

I place a finger on one pound coin and slide it to the side.

"I'll need that for the bus. Can you let me have it for 7.00?"

I swear this works 9 times of 10.

"Oh No." she replies. "Someone was in here first thing this
morning and even phoned his friend at work to tell him how good it was.
He said his friend was coming in later on today to buy it."

I was too shocked by the irony of it all. "Oh." was all I could say.

Never mind. As I said before this is a good shop.
I bought the Beach Boys 20 Golden Greats CD, a joke book and a 50p toy.
Well I had to get something for my nephew.
I actually do have a nephew. He is 33.

Back at Work (afternoon)
I spent the Friday afternoon listening to the Beach Boys
and telling jokes to my work mates.

I gave the toy to a Polish lad I work beside.
(next time he goes home for a holiday he has promised to
bring me a Polish Chess Magazine - does such a thing exist?)
The toy was a climbing Spiderman. He played with it for 5 minutes
then pulled the string too hard and broke it.

Mission Improbable
Watched Mission Impossible on T.V. the other day.
This episode was entitled; 'The Chess Game' and
was first aired in March 1968.

Chess Grandmaster Nicholas Groat is going to steal
one million pounds in gold from a bank.

The team's mission, should they accept it, is to nick
the gold themselves and give it to the resistance.

So the M.I. team build an unbeatable chess computer
complete with whirling tapes and flashing lights.

They then fit one of the team with a false hearing aid.
This really a radio receiver.
His role is to act the part of a strong American amateur chess player.

The sole women in the team has a mini camera hidden
inside this huge broach. She sits in front of the demo
board and the pictures are relayed to the computer operator.

He enters the opponents moves, the computer gives him the
unbeatable replies. He sends them to the guy at the board. Simple.

The tournament hall is packed with spectators who all
clap and howl in amazement when the American amateur player
checkmates the chess grandmaster in 9 moves.

here is the game.

[Click here to replay the game]
N.Groat - Amateur

1.e4 e6 2.Nc3 d5 3.d4 Bb4 4.Qg4 dxe4 5.Nge2 Bxc3+ 6.Nxc3 Nc6 7.a3 Nxd4 8.Qxg7 Nxc2+ 9.Ke2 Qd3

"This is incredible." screams Groat.
"Who are you? You are a cheat" he continues.

Soon Groat discovers the team and their unbeatable chess computer.
Don't worry, getting discovered was all part of the plot.

"I shall play another game against your computer to see
how good it really is." challenges Groat.
Here is the game.

[Click here to replay the game]
N.Groat - Amateur

1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Bc5 3.Nxe5 Qh4 4.d3 Qxf2

This is true. I'm not making this up.

"I am finished." moans Groat. "20 years I have studied the game and
now I am beaten by a machine."

The team allow Groat to nick the gold, they nick the gold from Groat.

Don't be too hard on the quality of the games. Can you recall the
chess game in the Bond film 'From Russia with Love'.

This game is based on Spassky v Bronstein, USSR Championship, Leningrad, 1960.

The position used in the film differs slightly.
The producers removed two white pawns.

This has brought forth all kinds of speculation.
The pawns were lost on the film set, they were removed to stop
a possible Black defence...etc.

(The pawns were found on the grassy Knoll. 'From Russia with Love'
was the last film President Kennedy saw before he was assassinated.
He attended a private showing at the Whitehouse on the 20th November 1963).

John B. Henderson, the columnist for The Scotsman revealed
all with his piece in The Scotsman on Tuesday 12th December 2006.

The producers thought there was copyright on chess games so they
removed two white pawns to make the position original.

So it's fair to suggest by using two silly nonsense games the
M.I. producers thought they were saving themselves a possible
law suit for breach of copyright.

Nicholas Groat. Where did they get that from?
Well an anagram of Nicholas Groat is 'has cool rating.' Coincidence?

Did anyone catch the chess theme in the Nemi cartoon
in the METRO on Friday the 11th of January?

OK, time for a couple of games.
R.Horne v S.Clark, Lothian Minor, Edinburgh, 2008.
Here is a good game sent in by the winner, Robert Horne.
Sit back and enjoy a prolonged attack that started with 9.h4.

The Bishop cannot be taken and remains under attack for another
10 moves. Black defends very well, he stays calm and eventually
forces off the Queens. This effort may have taken it's toll because
as soon as the attack is beaten back a few slack moves creep in
and White is back on to with two huge passed pawns on d5 & e5.
A good game.

[Click here to replay the game]
R.Horne v S.Clark

1.d4 Nf6 2.Nf3 d5 3.Bg5 e6 4.e3 Be7 5.Nbd2 c5 6.c3 Nbd7 7.Bd3 0-0 8.Ne5 h6 9.h4 Nh7 10.f4 Nxe5 11.dxe5 f5 12.exf6 Nxf6 13.Bg6 d4 14.e4 dxc3 15.bxc3 Qd3 16.Rh3 Qd8 17.e5 Nd5 18.Qg4 Bxg5 19.hxg5 Rxf4 20.Qh5 Qxg5 21.Qxg5 hxg5 22.g3 Rf8 23.0-0-0 Ne7 24.Bh7+ Kf7 25.Ne4 Ke8 [25...Nc6=] 26.Nd6+ Kd7 27.Nf5+ Nd5 28.c4 exf5 29.cxd5 Ke7 30.Bg6 f4 31.Rh7 fxg3 32.Rxg7+ Kd8 33.e6 Bxe6 34.dxe6+

Sundar Lymer - Lloyd Hughes. An Internet game, 2008.
A few C/C's back I wrote I disliked using internet games because
they were often marred by mouse slips and odd non-chess blunders.
Of course a game like Keith Ruxton's with the King being chased
from e8 to g1 and then winning just has to be seen because it
was so fantastic and funny.

I said to Keith I bet I have opened the flood gates and
get swamped with internet games. I was correct.
Within a few days I had received 9 games from four different players.
I give the following game because it's quite entertaining,
appears free of 'click slips' and is not a game between players
titled something like PAWNMUNCHER2004 V KINGKILLERHOGHEAD.
In the following position after Black's 33...Kg7 White resigned.

I continue the game because White resigned in a won position.

Black plays the infamous Englund Gambit Trap which I give in the notes.
White, obviously a reader of this column, side steps it deftly.

[Click here to replay the game]
Sundar Lymer - Lloyd Hughes

1.d4 e5 2.dxe5 Nc6 3.Nf3 Qe7 4.e4 [4.Bf4 Qb4+ 5.Bd2 Qxb2 6.Bc3 Bb4 7.Qd2 Bxc3 8.Qxc3 Qc1#] 4...Nxe5 5.Nc3 Nxf3+ 6.Qxf3 Nf6 7.Bg5 c6 8.0-0-0 h6 9.Bxf6 gxf6 10.Bc4 Bg7 11.Rhe1 b5 12.Bb3 a5 13.a3 [13.Nd5!] 13...a4 14.Ba2 b4 15.axb4 Qxb4 16.Rd3 [16.e5 f5 17.Nd5 cxd5 18.Qxd5] 16...Ba6 17.Rde3 a3 18.b3 c5 19.Qg3 0-0 20.Nd5 Qd4 21.Ne7+ Kh8 22.Nf5 Qb2+ 23.Kd2 Rg8 24.Qh4 Kh7 25.Rg3 [25.Rh3 Qxa2 26.Qxh6+ Bxh6+ 27.Rxh6#] 25...Bf8 26.Rxg8 Kxg8 27.Qg4+ Kh7 28.Re3 c4 29.Rh3 Bb4+ 30.Ke2 Qxc2+ 31.Kf3 Qd3+ 32.Ne3 Rg8 33.Qf5+ [33.Rxh6+ Kxh6 34.Qxg8] 33...Kg7 34.Qf4! Kf8 35.Qb8+ Ke7 36.Qxb4+ d6 37.Kf4 Ke6 38.Qa5 Bb7 39.Qf5+ Ke7 40.Nd5+ 0-1

So that is another Chandler Corner for another week.
I like this one, I've introduced a new artist to the net,
covered philately (stamp collecting), told a true story
how I got tripped up in charity shop, reviewed a TV program,
lifted a chess cartoon and given two good games.

We end with an advert for an very worthwhile cause.

Edinburgh Chess Club, Junior Membership.

As part of the 2007/8 Junior Membership, Edinburgh Chess Club are offering
3 Specialised Training days at the club (1 Alva Street, just off Princes Street).
The dates are Sunday 10th February, Sunday 23rd March and Sunday 11th May.
For further details, contact Chris Sykes, email
or visit the club website

These classes are good. Some excellent chess coaching from
some experienced teachers. They have produced some good
players who have gone onto achieve something in the game.

Hugh Brechin and Rhian Hughes are just two names that come to mind.
There are others but If I start to list them all I'll only
forget one and then I'll feel rotten.

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