Chess Edinburgh lewischessmen2-75h 

Chandler Cornered

More Bronze Man + XBOX 360 + Metro + I'm a Geek

I found this picture on an interesting site.
Interesting Site
Not sure who done it, there is another at the bottom of the page.

So my plea for games worked... I've been sent 39 games!

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin.

Game No.1 K.Green - M.Duke SNCL 2005

(Surely you are NOT going to show all 39 games?...Ed)

Yup. Now don't interrupt again, I have 39 games to go through.

This first game is a shorty with a lesson for beginners studying the opening.
White deviated from Black's book knowledge as early as move 9. In this position
White has just played 9.Qf3 Which is known but at the time not to Black.

Theory is 9.a4 when Black plays 9...g6.
So what does Black do? He plays 9...g6 anyway.
A little bit of knowledge is indeed a dangerous thing.
I reckon if Black had not memorised the theory then the
move 9...g6 would never had entered his mind.
White seized the weakened f6 and wrapped it up faultlessly.

[Click here to replay the game]
K.Green - M.Duke

1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.d4 cxd4 4.Nxd4 Nf6 5.Nc3 e5 6.Ndb5 d6 7.Nd5 Nxd5 8.exd5 Ne7
9.Qf3 g6 10.Qf6 Rg8 11.Nxd6+ Kd7 12.Bb5+ Kc7 13.Ne8+

Black has to toss his Queen or get mated.

Game No.2
Far away in another part of the house sits the boy Chandler plugged
into his XBOX 360. He plays silly shooting and football games online.

He puts on a headset and shouts instructions to fellow saddos from
all over the globe as they shift graphics around some virtual world.

Anyway he comes to see me and says;

"Yoa a gaga lugga mullah hooba XBO."

He lost the power to talk correctly the day he got his first computer.
I am used to it so I will translate.

"Hello Father, I have Chess on my XBOX 360, would you like a game?"

So I go into his room and see on his screen an advert to download
a chess playing program for 9.00. You get a free 4 minute trial.

I played it. This is what happened.

[Click here to replay the game]
G.Chandler - XBOX360

1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bc4 Nf6 4.d4 Bb4+ 5.c3 Ba3 6.Nxa3 exd4 7.0-0 dxc3
8.e5 cxb2 9.Bxb2 Nd5 10.Qxd5 Nb4 11.Qxf7

I took a picture of the final position.

You will see it took me 1 minute.
Needless to say I declined the offer to pay 9.00.
What a load of trash.

Games No.3 to 39 Will appear on another day.

The Continuing Saga of the Bronze Statue
Last C.C. we covered this in detail.
Roland Kensdale sent me a picture of the statue before it was vandalised.

It appears to be in a different setting. Is there more than one?

So the position before the vandal struck is this.

With the bronze man apparently playing Black and in check.

Not a position I recognise, Black should resign.
I've tried looking for a hidden message in the position. Nothing.
I cannot even determine what White's last move was.
1.Qb1-a2+ or 1.Rd5-d1+.

It could be a White Helpmate in 2. Black is in check so...
1...Kg7 2.Rb1 Nc2 mate. But that is just silly and ugly.
Anybody got any ideas?

Maybe the vandal was a chess player and tried to
set up a position where Black was winning.

Did you see this in the SUN on Thursday 7th September?

Status Quo appeared on Celebrity 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire'.
The first question:

Q:How many Knights are there at the start of a game of Chess.

A: Two?? (there are still four).

So they won nothing for their chosen charity, the Music Foundation,
and the show would have lasted 40 seconds.

Fortunately for Quo it turned out they were given the wrong set of questions.

These things are always fixed. The producers agree before hand on a fee and
then give the questions and answers to the celebs before the start of the show.
This is so we do not see how thick our heroes really are.

The celebs then pretend to go through all the rigors of racking their
pre-programmed brains to get the correct answer. Exciting television eh?
Quo went onto 'win' 50,000.

Don't get me started on 'celebrities...'

(You have already...Ed)

I tell what makes me cringe. It's film premiers.
Here we have hundreds of these sad geeks waiting for hours
to cheer on people going into a cinema.

"They are going in to see a film...Hooray."

And celebrity chefs? What on earth is a celebrity chef?
He is a cook. Which is one up from a kitchen porter.

Half the planet is starving and we have celebrity chefs.

But I'll tell you who really infuriates me.
People who clap fireworks.
They actually give a firework a round of applause...

What else has been happening...? Oh Yes.
I had a letter published in The Metro. It had nothing
to do with Chess but I signed it as a monk called Ruy Lopez.
Just so proper Chess players would know a fellow artist was in their midst.
They edited out the 'Lopez' simply calling the monk Ruy. Which tells me
no one on the letters page staff is a chess player.

What was the letter?
Well it answered a previous days letter. To get the gag I have to
give the whole thing. On Thursday 6th September this appeared.

So I sent in a reply and the following day this appeared.

Good Grief. I have now joined the ranks of the window licking firework clappers.
I have taken a copy of a letter published in a newspaper and put it on a chess site.

Finally another picture from that interesting site.
This one is called A Dimension Away from the Internet Rush Hour

Note the board the wrong way around.
Must have been in a rush to set it up.

Back to Chandler Cornered

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